Emotional intelligence is an often overlooked contributor to health and well-being. It’s also an important building block of career success, personal fulfillment, and better relationships.
Research shows that emotions influence:
• Attention, memory, and learning
• Decision making
• Creativity
• Mental and physical well-being
• Ability to form and maintain healthy relationships
• Academic and workplace performance
Why Emotional Intelligence Matters in Skin Health
Our emotions are also intimately tied to our health. That’s why you can feel them in your body. We can feel them because emotions start a physical process that produce a variety of neurochemicals and neurotransmitters. These, in turn, can affect our hormones, immune system, energy level, digestion, and other key bodily functions. This is why the internal physical changes triggered by strong emotions can also trigger our skin.
Add to this the fact that skin patients are often faced with a variety of constant emotional challenges due to the effects their symptoms can have on their self-esteem, outlook, and social life. Depression, anger, frustration, and fear that their condition will never get better are common.
In addition to the emotions brought up by their symptoms, they are often hurt or frustrated by people’s offhanded comments and ignorance of skin issues. This includes helpful “advice,” and how friends and family might be minimizing the patient’s feelings, not understanding their struggles, and not understanding the lengths to which they’ve gone to find answers.
The impact doubles given that the emotions that come with a debilitating skin condition can also perpetuate that condition by keeping the patient anxious, isolated, depressed, or sleep-deprived.
That’s why it pays to invest in learning positive and effective ways to manage emotions. Greater emotional intelligence can help us heal and stay resilient through the ups and downs of life — and the ups and downs of conditions like eczema, TSW, psoriasis, and acne.
What’s your emotional IQ? The RULER Approach
How do we measure emotional intelligence? Each person’s emotional intelligence is a result of complex factors, including individual temperament, family history, past life events, and cultural expectations.
However, psychologists at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence have discovered evidence-based practices that improve the way we recognize and manage both our own emotions, and those of others. Their program is called the “RULER” approach, and is currently applied in school settings with both students and faculty to create more positive learning environments.
How to Practice the RULER Approach
The RULER approach breaks down emotional intelligence into key components that we can learn and practice. Here are the main aspects of the RULER approach and a few ways you can apply them in your own life:
R ecognizing Emotions: Identifying emotions in oneself and others, including recognizing the physical and behavioral cues associated with different emotions.
TIP: Try using a “mood meter” (there are various types online) to pinpoint the nuances of how you feel and where your emotion lands on the pleasant/unpleasant spectrum. This will help you refine your understanding of your emotions and give you a broader emotional vocabulary.
TIP: Pay attention to how your body feels and notice the different physical sensations that happen when you feel different emotions. Also, observe your thoughts. What types of negative thoughts occur, whether about yourself or others, when you’re feeling down.
U nderstanding Emotions: Comprehending the causes and consequences of emotions, both one’s own and those of others.
TIP: Stop and consider what caused the emotion. Is the cause or emotion also linked to something that happened in the past? Is it related to other things happening in other parts of your life?
TIP: Reflect on how your emotions are affecting yourself and others. Are they helping you achieve your goals, or are they hindering you? Think about how others might feel or act if they felt similar emotions. Does this help your perspective?
L abeling Emotions: Developing a nuanced vocabulary for emotions, moving beyond basic labels to more specific and accurate descriptions.
TIP: Name your emotions. Give what you’re feeling a name by choosing words that really describe what’s going on inside. Use a broader emotional vocabulary to describe your true feelings. Instead of saying you’re “sad’ or “mad,” use words like “grieving” or “irritated” that get to the heart of your current emotion.
E xpressing Emotions: Communicating emotions in a healthy and appropriate way, considering social and cultural norms.
TIP: Choose a healthy and constructive way to express your emotions. Can you share how you’re feeling with a trusted friend? Can you write in a journal, or paint/draw a picture of how you feel?
TIP: Use “I” statements when sharing your emotions, and avoid blaming others or assuming how others feel about you or the situation.
R egulating Emotions: Developing effective strategies for managing and responding to emotions in helpful ways.
TIP: Engage in practices that help you learn how to refocus on the present moment, like meditation, or deep breathing exercises.
TIP: Develop coping strategies that help you manage emotional energy, such as exercising, going outdoors and being in nature, or reaching out to a therapist or counselor.
Conclusion
When we learn healthier ways of reflecting on, identifying, expressing, and managing our emotions, we improve our self-esteem and build stronger, healthier connections with others. The benefits also extend to our mental and physical health by reducing stress, anxiety, and depression. We can grow to be less reactive and more proactive about expressing how we feel and taking the right measures to take care of ourselves.
When we can learn to understand and cultivate our emotional landscape in better ways, it will result in greater peace, radiance, and health that supports our skin’s natural balance.
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About the Author
Olivia Hsu Friedman, LAc, Dipl.OM, DACM, Cert. TCMDerm, is the owner of Amethyst Holistic Skin Solutions and treats Acne, Eczema, Psoriasis, and TSW. Dr. Olivia treats patients via video conferencing using only herbal medicine. Dr. Olivia is past chair of the board of directors of the American Society of Acupuncturists, serves on the Advisory Board of LearnSkin, and is a faculty member of the Chicago Integrative Eczema Group sponsored by the National Eczema Association.